I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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