did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
