just come out here and I will go home with you...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize