What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
