Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
