A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
