Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
