absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
