Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you inspire me to be a worse person
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
