I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
