Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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