So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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