Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
zippers are such a cool invention
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
