It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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