You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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