Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize