Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
