What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize