wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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