That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
