If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
