I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
