I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
