And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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