I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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