It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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