"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
