I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
