I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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