Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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