are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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