it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
