My brain says no but my pants say off.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When are your genitals available?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
