Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
