i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
