he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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