giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
