So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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