listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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