Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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