people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
