remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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