i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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