She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
