my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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