why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
