So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
