I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
