the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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