Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
