I haven't been this sober since birth.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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