Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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