its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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