he wants to bone in the snuggie
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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