Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize