Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
