I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Still dying that you shit outside
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
