this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
