whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
