So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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