If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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