Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
