a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
